what a hectic mind

I'm typically person who often have a long list of the things-to-do in mind.
I want everything go with prepare,,so i can expect the result.
I wanna handle everything,and take my part so i feel more satisfy then.
There's Indonesian Idiom sounds "sekali mendayung 2,3 pulau terlampaui" or "sambil menyelam minum air",,which is I love to be multitasking,but..I dunno if I'm that capable to be called multitasking person.

The bad point is,many tasks that already start will become unfinished business of mine. And in hectic condition or underpressure called deadline,I can lost in mind what to do 1st, 2nd,3rd,,etc.
But,eventhough I often have a condition like I mention above, my perfectionis neuron will always be active and demand for perfect result just like I imagine in the beginning.
And if i don't get what i expected, i feel so bad. I feel like "I'm not finish yet","maybe i missed something that I should try". Not satisfy.

Yeah,I often feel tired with those condition which is I made it by myself. I wish I can feel more relieve with whatever I do.

Sometimes I feel dilemma,,is it good to go with the flow,,spontaneously,easy to satisfy,or dunno have strict target in life? But if I'm being a person like that,,I wonder,how come u get something significant in life (like what u admire about) if u just do plain?

Hahaha...oke don't take it too hard. It's not good to be that strict,,that's why we need variation or colourful in our life. Don't we? :)